Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Feeling Centralia
I was writing an article today about a preschool and how a 46-year old coal fire was the catalyst to its beginning. Ironically, the preschool is called, "New Beginnings."
So yeah, this fire burning underneath Centralia, Penn. has decimated lots of the buildings and homes, which prompted a Methodist church to move all its goodies to a new place 20 years ago, hence my article two decades later to announce its anniversary.
In the course of writing the article, I happened across a bunch of Web pages dedicated to Centralia, which I'm determined to visit. In another twist of irony, it is located about 15 miles from where I used to live in Pennsultucky. Two weeks, too late.
But then, isn't that the story of my life. Always too late.
Too late, as in recently, I've realized that I don't want to be with the guy I've been desperately trying to make things work with for the past year and a half.
On our first few dates, I thought he was a "nice" guy, the kind you can bring home to your parents and settle down into suburbia with. But, there wasn't any spark. I was bored and lonely and he grew on me. Maybe it was the patient way he explained that life doesn't end when you settle down. Maybe it was the flowers when I had a shitty day at work. Or the warm body I'd grown accustomed to snuggling against at night. Maybe I was just ready to let someone into my life. To share my moments with that guy, he of freckles and tiny fingers.
Except he isn't that guy anymore. He's downright mean. Yeah, I said it, mean. And maybe this is because he wants me to break up with him. Because he's scared of relationships. Or because he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. But I'm not investing the time psychoanalyzing it so that I can try and fix it. You know why? Because I don't care.
I don't care why he's behaving like an ass. I don't care if he loves me. I don't care if he wants to date me or marry me or dump me. I don't care if he doesn't know what he wants.
Because it's simple. I know what I want. And it isn't him.
I've got an interview Friday in NY. Please cross your fingers and send a bunch of positive vibes my way because I need to be done with this. Now. I need to get out of Pennsylvania before I become Centralia and crack.
So yeah, this fire burning underneath Centralia, Penn. has decimated lots of the buildings and homes, which prompted a Methodist church to move all its goodies to a new place 20 years ago, hence my article two decades later to announce its anniversary.
In the course of writing the article, I happened across a bunch of Web pages dedicated to Centralia, which I'm determined to visit. In another twist of irony, it is located about 15 miles from where I used to live in Pennsultucky. Two weeks, too late.
But then, isn't that the story of my life. Always too late.
Too late, as in recently, I've realized that I don't want to be with the guy I've been desperately trying to make things work with for the past year and a half.
On our first few dates, I thought he was a "nice" guy, the kind you can bring home to your parents and settle down into suburbia with. But, there wasn't any spark. I was bored and lonely and he grew on me. Maybe it was the patient way he explained that life doesn't end when you settle down. Maybe it was the flowers when I had a shitty day at work. Or the warm body I'd grown accustomed to snuggling against at night. Maybe I was just ready to let someone into my life. To share my moments with that guy, he of freckles and tiny fingers.
Except he isn't that guy anymore. He's downright mean. Yeah, I said it, mean. And maybe this is because he wants me to break up with him. Because he's scared of relationships. Or because he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. But I'm not investing the time psychoanalyzing it so that I can try and fix it. You know why? Because I don't care.
I don't care why he's behaving like an ass. I don't care if he loves me. I don't care if he wants to date me or marry me or dump me. I don't care if he doesn't know what he wants.
Because it's simple. I know what I want. And it isn't him.
I've got an interview Friday in NY. Please cross your fingers and send a bunch of positive vibes my way because I need to be done with this. Now. I need to get out of Pennsylvania before I become Centralia and crack.
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